ARIES (March 21-April 20)
DON'T LET OUTSIDE INFLUENCES DETER YOU FROM YOUR GOALS THIS MONTH. WALK SOFTLY BUT CARRY A BIG, BIG STICK. HEALTH PROBLEMS INCLUDE TOOTH DECAY AND ACHY JOINTS. CUT BACK ON THE CAFFINE.
TAURUS (April 21-May 21)
IT'S TIME TO CONCENTRATE ON YOURSELF. RED IS YOUR COLOR THIS MONTH. YOU'RE SAUCY AND YOU KNOW IT! KEEP A "WISH LIST" AND WORK TO OBTAIN IT. IT'S CLOSER THAN YOU THINK. IT'S CLOSER THAN YOU THINK.
GEMINI (May 22-June 21)
INSECURITY GETS THE BETTER OF YOU. TAKE COMFORT IN THE FACT THAT YOUR TWIN IS FEELING THE SAME WAY! THINGS WILL RETURN TO AN EVEN KEEL DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MONTH. FRIVOLOUS SHOPPING MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
CRACK OUT OF YOUR SHELL AND GET BACK ON THE GRAVY TRAIN. THE PARTY SCENE IS VIBRANT. CHILDREN PLAY A MAJOR ROLE IN YOUR LIFE. LEARN FROM THEIR CAREFREE EXISTENCE. LIFE IS SHORT- TAKE A TRIP TO THE ZOO.
LEO (July 23-August 23)
IT'S TIME ALL THOSE REMEDIAL MATH CLASSES PAID OFF. FINANCIAL PROBLEMS SEEM TO DISSIPATE ONCE YOU LEARN TO BALLANCE YOUR CHECKBOOK. PLANS GO AWARY AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH BUT THE LION QUICKLY RECOVERS. YOU HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM THAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW EXISTED.
VIRGO (August 24-September 22)
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES AND BAD LUCK IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME. CHEER UP - ROMANTIC PROSPECTS LOOK UP AFTER A FRIGHTFUL HALLOWEEN. WATCH OUT FOR PROMISING TOO MUCH.
LIBRA (September 23-October 22)
ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR PAST MISTAKES EVEN IF IT MEANS DRAGGING YOUR TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. SELF ADORATION IS A HIGH PRIORITY AND YOUR CREDIT CARD KNOWS IT. FORGET LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND FOCUS ON THE FUTURE. JOB SECURITY LOOKS HOPEFUL.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)
DON'T MULL OVER THE PAST. IT'S BULLSHIT! BETTER LEARN TO TAP DANCE BECAUSE YOU'RE WALKING ON HOT COALS IN THE WORKPLACE THIS MONTH. A CONFRONTATION AT WORK LEAVES YOU FEELING DISGUSTED. YOU ARE RIGHT! REVEL IN IT!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
YOU ARE BEING BOMBARDED BY CONFUSING MESSAGES. KEEP FOCUSED AND ON TRACK. AUGUST, SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER ARE PERHAPS THE MOST INTEGRAL TIME FOR THE ARCHER AND HIS/HER INNER SELF. PRETTY HEAVY, HUH? REWARDS COME LATE IN THE FALL.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)
TIME IS MONEY, BUT FAST PACE CAPRICORN HAS KNOWN THIS FOR YEARS. SLOW DOWN AND WARD OFF ALL SIGNS OF NEGATIVITY. NOW IS THE TIME TO ACT ON YOUR LONG LIVED FANTASIES.
AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)
APPROACH SENSUAL PURSUITS WITH ENERGY AND VIGOR. HOWEVER, CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLLY OR WEAR MINT FLAVORED SHOES. DON'T FORGET TO PACK A SPARE TOOTHBRUSH BECAUSE TRAVEL IS ON THE HORIZON.
PISCES (February 20-March 20)
CREATIVITY IS AT ITS PINNACLE. PARTNERS MAY GIVE YOU THE INSIGHT YOU NEED. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION. ENTERTAINING FRIENDS GETS OUT OF HAND BY MID MONTH. PUT A DO NOT DISTURB SIGN ON YOUR FORHEAD.