pitcha o' tigah kitten saves thousands of lives in harbor
menino declares october 24
"tiger the kitten day"

by ima overdahill
megalomedia tribune herald times
staff writer


boston -- thousands of lives were saved in boston harbor today when a really big ship capsized, threatening the lives of its thousands of passengers, and a small, but astonishingly cute kitten that answers to the name of "tiger" alerted the proper authorities in the nick of time, leading to the rescue of each and every man, woman, and child aboard.

brave coast guard professional, james "dog paddle" clark related the story to this reporter. "we were just hangin' out, havin' a couple pops, and thinkin' 'bout maybe puttin' out a line for some dinner, when this small, but astonishingly cute, kitten suddenly appeared on deck, mewing frantically.

"now, i've never been much of a cat-person m'self, but it was clear what the li'l bugger was sayin': `there's folks in trouble, out in the harbor, and you're their only hope.'"

apparently, "tiger" was minding his own business, catching fish out on a wharf, when the ss "momma", a type of vessel

described by sailing authorities as being "really big", capsized in the harbor nearby. when the thousands of men, women, and children began bobbing helplessly in the frigid waters and screaming for help, it became clear to "tiger" that it was up to him to alert the proper authorities and save the day.

what followed is already legend in "the hub." "tiger" suddenly appeared on deck, mewing frantically, and made it clear to the brave coast guard professional, james "dog paddle" clark that there were folks in trouble and that he was their only hope.

mayor thomas e. menino has declared that hereafter october 24 will be "tiger the kitten day", and that it will join "bunker hill day", "evacuation day", and "patriots' day" as a paid holiday for all municipal, suffolk county, and commonwealth employees.

"tiger", being a kitten, and hence incapable of human speech, was unavailable for comment.