when i first started elementary school, milk in the
cafeteria came in glass bottles, was ice cold and
fresh from the cow. a bottle cost 2 cents. the next
year milk cost 5 cents, came in a cardboard carton,
was warm and five days old. i think they had run out
of space for the milk and were storing it on the radiator.

HERE'S A POEM

the milk at school was good
when i was in first grade
but by the second grade
the milk was horrendous.
things went down hill so quickly.

A STORY

that was nice. i like the word nice. it's so
explicative. it was a nice, nice day. everything was
fine. everybody was good. the trees looked super and
the humidity was very bearable. i felt great.

i had just been to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned
and he said my teeth were in excellent condition. on the
way to the gym i washed down some vitamins with Diet Coke.
i was exceedingly happy about my beautiful girlfriend and my new
porshe. porsche? i don't know how to spell it.

anyway, everything was going just as good as anyone could ask, and
my possibilities for the future seemed endless.

but then i started smoking dandelions.

i started out with one a day. you know how the story goes.
soon it was five, six a day. it was getting bad. i was sneaking
a couple in the bathroom at work at lunch and almost got caught
a few times.

my life has changed in so many ways. i was going to have my own
accounting firm. now i'm digging through trash cans for returnables.
my girlfriend left me. i lost my car in the bay. i jumped out just in
time. i had passed out behind the wheel after a heavy smoking session
at my friend's hangout.

the worst part is i've lost huge portions of my memory. i forget my
parents' names sometimes, forget to mail my taxes. all sorts of things
are a mess in my life.

for instance, i can't train my dog to go to the bathroom on the newspaper
i put down on the floor. he goes on the couch and in my bed. he especially
likes to go in the bed, and if i'm in it at the time, that does not stop him.

another thing is my refrigerator hasn't worked for weeks. i had a repairman
over twice to fix it. both times he left saying it was all fixed but it stopped
working ten minutes later.

i don't know. i had a job delivering donuts for a while, but lost it when i
totaled the donut van. i was smoking dandelions, of course, and lucky to get out alive.

by peter tobias klipstein